


I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware

by MargoWicker



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Drinking, Eating Disorders, F/F, Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 05:33:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13991538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MargoWicker/pseuds/MargoWicker
Summary: An angsty? fic where Julia has gone to Brakebills.tw for eating disordersalso drinking on an empty stomach is bad (Don't Do IT)This was written for anyone who wants to read it. If you relate to this story I am sorry. You are not alone <3





	1. Chapter 1

I could see Eliot’s concern as he was pouring some ombré liquid into fluted glasses. I was only one drink in and the room was already feeling floaty. As he put down the shaker he quietly pointed out, “Bambi, did you eat something before this?”

I just smiled and laughed before picking up the drinks and waltzing over to Kady and Julia. They were trying to trick the pool balls and mess with the guys’ game. We watched them get more and more confused before we were unable to be subtle. As we burst out laughing they turned around annoyed and went back to drinking their beers.

The evening was beginning to pick up its pace and with it more joints and magical goodies. We were all offered some brownies that would let you hear colors. Kady willingly took some and Julia a bite. When the guy was pushing them on me all I could say was “I won't be the one hearing colors if you keep this up”. It may have been a hearing colors brownie but it was still a brownie.

The evening continued and eventually, Kady went off god knows where so Julia and I made out way outside. We ended up in lawn chairs sharing a cigarette for no other purpose except for it serving as a flirting device. She was cute and wasn't afraid to call people out on their bullshit. She was teaching me how to blow star-shaped smoke rings and as she moved her hands I kept on reaching out to mess with her. This ended with us laughing, and with me somehow on top of her.

I quickly tried to get up and shift back over to my chair but when I stood up the floor wouldn't stop spinning. She noticed and reached out to steady me and help me sit back down. I was laughing because of how light I felt as if I was floating with the hanging fairy lights encircling us. As I sat back down, guided by her hands, I noticed she looked more serious than amused. All I could see was how soft her face looked in the light, and I saw in her eyes something people never looked at me with, concern.

Eventually, we made our way back inside, arms around each other. Eliot saw us and winked, I noticed he was sitting with a first year. I called out to him, “He’s young, don't scare the boy!” To which he replied, “Bambi, I would never”

We both laughed exuberantly, and as we approached the bar, I conjured up a whiskey for Julia and a vodka soda with lime for myself. I shooed some girls sitting on the couch away with a threatening glare and sat down on the proclaimed territory. I kept the rest of the evening lighthearted as best as I could.

As the evening was winding down and I was two more drinks in, the floating had turned into a fuzz that was lulling me to sleep. Julia noticed this and decided to help me up to my room seeing as I wasn't going to get there on my own. In an attempt at autonomy, I began to go up the stairs but not without grabbing onto the banister to steady myself. I felt an arm wrap around my waist as Julia picked me up princess style. She put me down gently and we reached the room, and she helped me change into pajamas all while promising that she wasn't going to hurt me. Once I had managed to get myself into bed, Julia turned to leave. As she got up, I was already drifting off to sleep. All I asked of her was,

“Stay?”


	2. Sun-kissed Fruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after  
> Mix of Julia and Margo POV

When I woke up Margo had her arms wrapped around me fast asleep. I tried to extract myself from her grasp to go get some water. I had a sense she would be feeling the party after how drunk she seemed last night. Making my way to the door, I turned to look at the way she looked so peaceful with her dark brown curls strewn across the pillow. I wasn't sure how serious to take her flirting with me last night seeing how inebriated and not with it she was.

I made my way into the kitchen where Eliot was up with some coffee. I got two glasses of water, making Eliot realize exactly where I had just come from. Smiling he handed me a bottle of aspirin “for Bambi. Also, there are some strawberries in the fridge if you're going to bring anything up for her. She loves those” The way he said it made it clear he had taken care of her more than once. I smiled, thanking him and made my way back up to the room.

When I returned, Margo was beginning to stir. I put the tray of water and strawberries on the nightstand and crawled back under the covers. I wrapped my arms around her small frame and must have fully woken her up because she rolled over to face me. Brushing her hair out of her face, I said “Do you want some aspirin? You seemed to have gone hard last night” With a roll of her eyes she sat up and took the glass of water I held out to her.

\---

She looked so pretty even in a t-shirt with messed up hair. I gladly took the painkillers and took a moment to mentally calculate the equivalent in numbers of four shots of vodka. She reached around to take the tray off the nightstand and placed it on the bed between us. I noticed Eliot must have intervened when I saw the bowl of strawberries. I sarcastically pointed out “Aw babe you shouldn't have” as I plucked a berry from the bowl. Her smile in response matched the sun lighting up the room.

Eventually, she got up to change and head back to her room. I got up too and went over to my wardrobe and while pretending to contemplate an outfit, I nudged my scale underneath the piece of furniture. I can’t expose myself too quickly. She was gathering her things and quietly humming while doing so, something I'd never seen her do. I noticed how her lips matched the tint of the strawberries. I wondered if they tasted like them too. Throwing caution to the wind I stepped over to her and separated her hand from the books. As she looked up I pulled her closer to me and learned she tasted like fruit and sunshine. After a moment I stepped back with a smirk. She picked up her things and as she was walking out the door she looked back and said: “Meet you later to study?”


	3. Qahwah Arabiyya (Arabic Coffee)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's sex in this just FYI

Julia was already sitting at the library when I got there, her head in a book. I had brought two coffees along with me, black for me and two sugars for her. “Hey” I said softly as I approached her. She looked up at me with a smile and gave me a kiss. I joined her at the table and took out my things. The library was seemingly empty with sunlight streaming through the windows and the smell of old books exuding from the stacks. We discussed botany and reviewed the Arabic books we had been given. Somewhere in between the amaryllis and the al-kitab I popped a green tea pill as discreetly as I could.

However, thanks to the coffee and the caffeine in the pill my hands were shaking so much only ten minutes later. Julia took note and as I was shakily turning a page she took my hands and held them. “Are you okay?” “Um yeah. I think the coffee really hit me strong today”, I responded with a nervous giggle. This time I wasn’t nervous about her noticing my overcaffination, I was more concerned with how she was holding my hands. To counter any sense of my indecisiveness, I leant over the corner of the table and kissed her.

Thinking she would remain tethered to her books I was surprised when she gave me a flirtatious look and led me into the stacks. She pressed me up against the herbology section and separated herself as she twisted her hands into a “cone of silence” spell. She pressed back into me and tasted like coffee and roses. Her fingers made their way under my skirt, where her thumb began to circle my clit as she inserted two fingers into me. I gasped loudly earning a smile, while also being grateful that there was a sound barrier between us and the world. I had my leg wrapped around her and she was nipping and sucking on my neck. All I could do was thread my fingers through her hair as my head fell back into the shelf. Her pace had quickened and I pressed more into her hand, moaning, “God Julia please don't stop”. She just laughed and and continued her work as I came onto her fingers and biting down on her neck.

Somewhat out of breath, I took a moment before quickly pinning her against the bookshelf with some telekinesis. I raised her shirt up to kiss along her stomach, leading down to where I could help her shimmy out of her jeans. With the help of magical restraints, I wrapped her legs around my shoulders so I could eat her out. I loosened the restraints from her wrists before licking into her resulting in her grabbing fistfuls of my hair. I continued to work around her clit with increasing speed. She was much more liberal with her moans and expletives. Sucking and grazing her clit with my teeth brought her to the edge. As she came, I continued to lick into her and cleaned her up.

Letting her down, both of us breathless, we made our way slowly back to our study spot, not without several flirtatious glances.


	4. bluebird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more tw:ED  
> mixed POV

We were all gathered around the dining room table where Eliot was testing his new hors-d’oeuvres out on us. In front of us was a big platter of various toasts with spreads and colorful shot glasses filled with fruit looking things. As everyone was focused on Eliot’s description of the different dishes, I casually swept my hand over my plate vanishing two of the salmon toasts I had taken from the platter.   
We moved through several other of his creations, ending up at the dessert round. As I quietly vanished a mini-tart, his gaze fell to my plate. He exclaimed suddenly, “Bambi! Help me bring out the aperitifs!”

He pulled me into the kitchen and had me cornered against the fridge.   
“Come on Margo. I know you're doing it again.”  
“I don't know what youre talking about”, I said as I rested my hands on my hips.   
“Last night at the party, today, and god knows when else. Bambi, I'm worried you’ll hurt yourself!”  
This was getting ridiculous, and as I stormed out of the kitchen I yelled back   
“Fuck off El”

I made my way up the stairs and to my room. Slamming the door behind me, I realized I still had some toasts and tarts in my stomach that I hadn't been able to “remove” from my plate. Fending off a panic attack, I knelt down in front of the toilet and disposed of the food almost like clockwork. 

I must have forgotten to close the bathroom door.

I'll never forget the look on her face.

\---

 

Eliot quickly returned with the drinks after Margo stormed out of the room.   
With a flourish he said, “Bambi gets a little on edge around midterms”.

“I'll go do damage control”, I said as I stood up, earning a grateful but oddly sad look from Eliot. 

I quickly made my way up the stairs, and could hear that the tasting had resumed its previous nature downstairs.  
I quickly opened the door to her room and as I approached her bathroom I didn't want to believe what I saw.

As she got up to clean herself off, I could see she was crying and ashamed. She was trying to cover it up as best as she could.  
“Look Julia, I don't do it like ever, but midterms and everything has really just turned into a huge shitstorm”

She looked so defensive, and as I reached out to give her some comfort I was scanning her face for some sign of consent. I took my presence as welcome as she nearly fell into my arms. We sat there on the bathroom floor for a moment until her sniffling had subsided. She seemed so small lying there and I wondered how long she had been beating herself up like this. Eventually she peeked up at me, and sensing she seemed a bit better in the most general sense of the word, I carried her over to the bed and helped her change into comfy pjs. I got her some water and she relaxed back into me, lying her head on my chest. 

Eventually she fell asleep, and as I played with her hair, its golden streaks reflected back at me in the pool of blue satin pyjama fabric. I wasn't sure if or how she could be fixed but I knew I wanted to try.


	5. Anorexic in astro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stahp. you coulda made me drop my croissants!
> 
> the only way i approach this topic is to be arch and ironic about it. thats how i deal 
> 
>  
> 
> (TW ED)

When Julia woke up she was surprised to see that Margo had disappeared from her arms. As she began to look around the room, she noticed noise coming from the bathroom. Margo seemed to have gotten up and gone on with her day with little acknowledgement of last nights events. Eventually, the brunette emerged from the bathroom seemingly positive and unshaken. As she busied herself in gathering her books to study, Julia ventured a "Hey. Are you feeling alright"  
All she got back was a "Yeah, much better" and a glowing smile that she sensed was a facade. 

\---

All Margo wanted to do was forget that last night had ever happened. She knew she had to do everything in her power to get Eliot and now Julia off her back. It also bothered her that Julia had seen her that way. She feared she would never look at her the same again. Carefully crafted makeup and a springtime outfit were her first steps in shaking off the issues that now plagued her mind. Now with the added distraction of Julia, she suggested they stop by the cafe before separating for class. This seemed to reflect well in Julia's eyes as she seemed semi-relieved and less concerned. They made their way across the quad in the sun and for a brief moment Margo only felt the warmth of the sun and the company of the beautiful girl walking beside her. This was quickly interrupted as they approached the air-conditioned building, awakening her to the realization of having to get food. She settled on a corn muffin and black coffee whereas Julia took a soy latte and a croissant. 

Julia left her to attend an herbology class, and in parting gave her a tight squeeze and said she could call her at anytime if she needed help.  
Help. That was not what she needed. She needed to continue living her life all nice and floaty and acing her midterms. She didn't need this "help" bullshit, she thought as she tossed her muffin in the trash. She knew there would be a few nights of solid drinking in a few days following exams. She was going to save herself for that. 

As she made her way to astrophysics, she could feel herself being consumed by thoughts.


End file.
